I have heard Bonsai descibed in many ways - art, horticulture, minitrisation, illusion, even torture.

Bonsai trees that are well kept are extremely vibrant and healthy, and in many cases will long out live their 'natural' family - many bonsai can be traced through many generations and can be 100's of years old.

Personally for me bonsai is not only a passion, but its also a metaphor: My personal experience with my health (Chronic Fatigue Syndrome) has many parrells with bonsai, I hope to explore these in this Blog.


Friday, August 26, 2011

γνῶθι σεαυτόν

γνῶθι σεαυτόν


It’s Greek for ‘Know Thyself’ (I hope my Greeks a little rusty)

Over the past 4 years there has been much need for me to do this due to illnesses and CFS.
It has been at times difficult, to say the least, and frustrating but i have had to relearn my bodies boundaries and limits and how far i can push them. This has taken much time and most of it was done by trial and error and making many mistakes.

That’s partially the reason for my absence in writing as i have been on the edge of pushing too far for the last 6 weeks or so and finally tipped over the edge last weekend and this week. To be honest it is a difficult balancing act and one which requires much change and tweaking each day. While I’m being honest it also frightens me knowing that if i tip too far over the edge that it could mean weeks or even months of down/low time.

My want over the last 6 weeks to be ‘normal’, feeling good and enjoying being active clouded my judgement on where my body was really at. So last weekend i felt myself slide over the edge. It all happened quite quickly – much quicker than in recent times. I definitely got my expectations mixed up with my abilities.

But i have learnt the tell tale signs of my body struggling to cope and that’s why i disappeared for some time, the need to abandon and rest as to shorten the time I’m down/low has to always win out.

Tell tale signs i have learnt to look for about my Health:
- Sore throat (if this happens everything stops)
- Cold sore (if this happens everything stops)
- Cold/Flu
- Muscle aches
Tell tale signs in other areas:
- Daytime sleeping
- Headaches
- Trouble thinking clearly
- Trouble with large groups people
- Struggling with crowds/Noisy areas
- Apathy, not shaving, not eating etc
- Not finding joy in areas activities that i would normally do

I’m very much looking forward to our down time on holidays with the family soon.


SeanB

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Sickness and recovery

Friends

I've been quiet of late on the interweb front due in part to sickness and also trying to extend my working hours over the last few weeks.

As I said in my first post I'll post as often as I can, but I can not keep pushing to update blog. This has been one of 'those' times.

I still find even now, some 4 years on from the first signs of CFS that I am still quick to get sick and slow to recover. (compred to the average person)

I have still been thinking and drafting posts on

Pacing
The fatigue clinic
Psychology
Mental vs Physical fatigue
Insurance companies
My iPhone revelation
... and many more ....

I am hoping to post some of these thoughts soon.


SeanB